Learning To Love Yourself

May 21, 2013

It took me a long time to learn to love myself. I grew up in an Asian culture where I was taught to be selfless, and to always put the needs and desires of other people before my own. The expectation was to never think of myself first, as that was selfish. My parents’, siblings’, relatives’, and friends’ needs and wants, all took priority over mine. It was ingrained in me to put my own needs and desires last. Pleasing others was more important than pleasing myself. Self-sacrifice was honorable.

Yellow broom Vancouver Mimi Luk


That attitude of self-sacrifice was so instilled in me that it got embedded in my adult life and my relationships. In particular, with my relationships with men, I found myself so eager to be pleasing them, that I would neglect myself in every way—mind, body, and spirit. In one of my more serious relationships, it got to the point where I lost all sense of my own identity and self-esteem. I didn’t know who I was and had no self-confidence. I didn’t respect myself and he didn’t either. I certainly did not love myself and eventually, neither did he. After I ended this toxic relationship, I began my journey of self-discovery and learned for the first time that it was not only okay to love myself, but absolutely necessary for my well-being.

Queen elizabeth Park Vancouver Mimi Luk


Before we can expect others to love us, we must love ourselves. If we don’t love ourselves, how can we expect others to love us? We must learn who we are, and what our values and beliefs are. We must know and believe in our own self-worth. We are all God’s precious creations. God loves all of us. Each and every one of us is unique. There is no other person in the world that is like you. Accept who you are and love who you are. You are special. You are valuable. You are worthy of love!

Tulip Festival Agassiz BC Mimi Luk


Learn to accept love freely. Giving love to others has always been easy for me. Receiving love is another story. However, once I finally believed that I deserve love, that I am lovable, and that I am worthy of love, my life changed. I understood it is okay for me to take care of myself first. In fact, not only is it okay, but it’s mandatory to take care of yourself first, before you can take care of someone else.

Don’t be pleasing others at the expense of your own well-being. Learn to say “no” to people and activities when you know you should. Listen to your inner voice to find that balance in your life. Take time for yourself. Be kind and compassionate to yourself. Accept and embrace the wonderful individual that you are.

Love yourself.

lilac spring flower Mimi Luk


Look in the mirror and smile. The person looking back is amazing, loveable, and is loved!

Love & Light,

Mimi Luk

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Mimi Luk is a personal and professional life coach. Grateful to be alive as a kidney recipient, she is also a health and wellness advocate. Mimi has achieved her knowledge and insight from both personal and professional circumstances to allow her to become an empathetic coach. Her experiences have made her a true believer in the power of intent and the unlimited possibilities of transformation. Currently writing her first book, she believes it will inspire readers to begin their journey of self-discovery, and to have an abundant life filled with peace, love, and joy. Please contact Mimi for information on coaching sessions in-person, by phone, or online via Skype.

12 responses to Learning To Love Yourself

  1. Mimi – I see this beyond cultures. I see this as often a “woman” thing. We are caregivers and in that role we give and give but rarely to ourselves. I am guilty of being that way. Being sick has taught me that I can still give to others but not unless I give to myself first. This is a wonderful post.

    • Thank you for your comment, Kathryn.
      Yes, I completely agree this is beyond cultures and often a “woman” thing, although I’m sure many men can also find themselves in this situation too.
      As women, it is in our nature to be nurturing to others, but too often, forget to nurture ourselves.
      Sometimes it takes illness to make us realize how important it is to be healthy (mentally, emotionally, and physically) and that we can’t help others unless we are well enough to. Take good care of yourself, Kathryn.

  2. It’s great that you learn to love yourself and hopefully, soon, there will be a man in your life who love you for who you are. The flowers are so beautiful.

    • Thank you for your comment, Giora. It’s been wonderful to learn to love myself and that’s why I want everyone to learn how to love themselves. I’m so happy you enjoy my flowers as I do love taking pictures of them!

  3. i have allways put everything and everyone before me i would find this an allmighty challenge but i need to try this xx

    • Thanks for your comment, Linda. I’m so glad that you’ve realized you need to love yourself by putting yourself first. Please take care of yourself by nurturing your body, mind, and soul. Be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to do things you enjoy doing. If you love yourself first, you will be in a better position to help and love others. Best wishes as you undertake this challenge. You have my full support, Linda!

  4. Cameron Landels August 3, 2013 at 3:01 pm

    This really speaks to me, just from reading the article. I always try to be nice and caring towards others. It has been noticed. I think If I love myself and accept myself, I’ll become a better person. 🙂

    • I’m so glad that this article speaks to you, Cameron. It’s always been easier for me to be nicer and caring towards others than to myself. I really had to learn that it was just as important to be nice and caring to myself. I KNOW you will be much happier and at peace if you learn to love and accept yourself. Wishing you love, joy, and peace, Cameron.


    • Thanks for reading my article and for your comments, JP. Yes, I agree with what you say. God is Light. May God continue to bless you and keep you always.

  6. Very beautiful and inspirational. Thanks for this teaching Mimi!

    • You’re very welcome, Prachi! Thank you for reading my article and for your kind words. I appreciate your support very much! Wishing you peace and love always!