Anger can be an ugly beast. Yes, sometimes, there is room for righteous anger. The kind of anger we feel when we think justice has not been served, or when we’re angry that something cruel and heartless has happened. Perhaps, we feel we have a right to be angry when senseless acts take place, and lives are lost or hurt.
However, most of the time, when you’re angry with someone because you’ve had a fight with that person, it is not righteous anger. Whether the argument is over something trivial or important, being angry doesn’t serve much purpose in the short or long run. When you’re angry, you’re in a very negative state, and often, can’t think clearly as you’re so emotional at the time. So much time and energy is wasted when you remain cloaked in rage.
If you’re in a loving relationship, whether it be with a family member, a friend, or a significant other, think about the times that you’ve had verbal disagreements with him or her. Isn’t it true that the longer you stayed mad at the other person, the longer you felt bad and disoriented? Further, the longer that you gave each other the “silent treatment,” instead of addressing issues by communicating, the longer it took for you to be happy, feel good about yourself, and feel good about your relationship again.
I try to live by the motto, “I’d rather be happy than be right.” You see, we are all individuals, with our own thoughts, past experiences, and ideas of how things should be done. There’s no other person in the world that’s exactly like you. Hence, it’s impossible to be in total agreement one hundred percent of the time with another person. Inevitably, there will be situations which arise whereby you will disagree with each other. Misunderstandings can occur. What’s crucial is to communicate with each other in a calm, respectful, and kind manner, especially at those times when you’re furious at each other.
When you’ve been in a relationship for some time, you get to know each other’s “trigger points.” Because you love each other, you also have the capability of hurting each other the most. Hostile words you say out loud to each other can’t be taken back. Words, indeed, can cut like a knife. Don’t hurt your loved ones. Walk away from a situation before saying or doing anything hurtful. Give yourself a time out to cool off. Don’t harbor and fuel angry thoughts and feelings. Focus on the big picture. Dig deep inside yourself and know what’s really important to you. Do you want to be happy? Do you want to work things out with your loved one? Get perspective. Breath. Take a moment to check-in.
Talk to the other person when you’re in a more tranquil state, and have had time to reflect and to think more rationally. Approach the conversation in a non-defensive and honest manner. Be vulnerable. Remember your goal is to have a fantastic relationship with your loved one. You can only have a healthy relationship if the lines of communication are open. Don’t let the sun go down upon your wrath. Sort things out before the day is over. You will both feel better for it and be able to move on. Remember that for every minute you spend angry, is a minute of happiness you will never get back.
Love & Light,
I’d be so grateful if you can share this post on your social media and leave a comment below ♥